tricia marburger

tricia marburger

wife to code geek @lmarburger.

boyMom.

recovering perfectionist.

kidMinistry director at #LCBC_HBG.

 

 

I grew up in this small little town, surrounded by my extended family.

My cousins were my first best friends.

I'm the firstborn, nerdy, book-loving, straight A girl that lived on the outskirts -

who thought she didn't need anyone, who tried to numb away the hurt,

who tried hard to never mess up and mostly didn't.

But as hard as I tried to numb it, I still battled with feelings of hurt and loss.

I've struggled with feelings of emptiness.

I've experienced alot of death in my family at a young age.

Six years ago, I lost my brother suddenly in a car accident.

It rocked me.

About this time, my husband & I were trying to grow our family,

and was struck with the sadness that they would never meet their uncle.

 

And though dealing with loss has been tough,

I can look back now and look to see that it has served to soften my heart

the process allowed me to grow a deep sense of empathy.

But I find myself with this deep caring spirit
for the struggles my friends and community face.

God took this empty, numb heart and filled it with this overwhelming

-sometimes to a fault- empathy for others.

And to my surprise, as I walk alongside their pain,

the covering over my hurt comes off, it finds air, and God begins to heal it.

I think God is telling me my story backwards.

Or at least, I'm figuring it out backwards.

Maybe we all do to a degree.

My struggles open up doors to encourage others in a real and vulnerable way.
Not because I’m super smart or awesome,
but because God was teaching me and leading me to a place of sharing.

In 2004, my husband & I began attending LCBC.

I was drawn to volunteering with the three year olds in the kidMinistry.

As an introvert I felt more comfortable connecting with kids.

Through my loving on kids,
I started to realize the growing number of adults feeling lonely and disconnected;
my heart grew for them.

He developed in me this heart and passion for the lonely and unconnected.

That led me to a place where I realized I was always feeling lonely and unconnected.

 

He took a loner, introverted girl and grew her to love people,

their stories, and to connect them with others in relationship.

I now work as the kidMinistry Director at the LCBC Harrisburg Campus.

And now I find myself loving and caring for 175 volunteers.

God is funny that way.

And now every weekend me and 100 friends
get to create this beautiful kidMinistry together.

 

I'm also a perfectionist.
I love details and getting them all right.
God has given me this ministry to lead at the moment,
so it's messy and fun and not so much about the details
but the people I get to do life with.
And through that God is teaching a perfectionist to take risks,
to speak up, to jump in, and even (gasp) to fail.

And when that risky-failure-speaking up stuff was so hard to do,
I realized I was always battling feelings of good enough-worthiness.

I remember vividly this turning point...
One Sunday morning a few years ago, the lights wouldn’t come on – literally.
I was hiding tears from those I passed in the hallway thinking to myself
‘who is going to trust me with their kid when I can’t even turn the lights on?!’
God nudged me, kinda hard. And I gave Him control.

When I let go of what I thought I was, I start to become what I was always meant to be.

Now - I get to watch God develop this heart and
lead me on this journey of community,
of caring, of vulnerability.

And I'm totally content to figure it out a little backwards.

 

Connect with Tricia:

Twitter @OHbymyfam

Instagram @tmarburger

we're back!

 

Welcome 2014!

After a brief hiatus, WE ARE BACK &

so excited about the upcoming stories

and fresh ideas we have for this project.

this year you can expect us to be more present:

on the blog,

social media,

& specifically our jam, Instagram.

[follow us @storysociety]

As we think ahead for this year,

our goal of sharing stories still will remain our primary focus.

Also, we are pumped about the potential to incorporate better connection

within this community as we continue to introduce more stories.

We truly feel that this project is about YOU, the community we are creating together.

So please feel free to get involved in anyway you feel most comfortable;

whether that be as a follower or a contributor.

Thank you for your continued encouragement & support.

 

Love,

Susan & Shea

P.S. you can now receive email updates when new content is posted.

(located on the right sidebar of this page)

brian martin

brian martin
husband to a gorgeous woman.
mender of God’s design.
closet musician.
child of the outdoors.

There’s a certain romanticism about conception.

I’ve always wanted to have a cool story to tell my kids
about when they were conceived.
Like, “it happened on a tropical beach with a beautiful sunset”
or “during an awesome thunderstorm in the Canadian Rockies.”
Something epic, almost Paul Bunyan-like.
But there was no idyllic story for us.



Jill and I had been trying for more than two years to become pregnant.
What started out as a care-free,
“throw caution to the wind”
plunge into parenthood was
slowly spiraling into a hopeless struggle.

We initially met with Jill’s OB-GYN after several months
had passed without seeing the coveted “blue stripe.”
After a few battery of standard tests,
we were reassured that everything was fine
and that we just “needed to have more sex
and give it some more time.”

What should have been a beautiful, passionate experience
between two people evolved into a sterile, dis-engaged and emotionless exercise.

There is nothing romantic about making love to your wife as
she's crying because she feels the whole idea of getting pregnant is futile.
There is no spontaneity in being called at work to drop everything
and come home to have sex because
hormone levels are peaking & basal body temperatures are perfect.
I felt more like a trained circus monkey -
being asked to perform at the drop of the hat -
regardless of how I felt.

I dreaded the approach of each week in anticipation of
whether Jill would get her period.
I hated walking past the bathroom and hearing the quiet sobs behind the door.
There was nothing I could do or say to make her feel better.
Our house was silent, always.

Infertility is like a wound;
when its just about healed,
someone comes along and
rips off the scab & the whole process starts over.

I was slowly watching her die inside.
She wanted nothing more than to be pregnant.
She wanted to experience that first kick inside her belly, to have cravings;
she even wanted to have morning sickness.

There was no medical explanation for our infertility.
No matter how much we tried, the results were the same -
a barren belly with no baby.

We met again with the specialists and decided that we would pursue
a few rounds of artificial insemination.
It had become quite evident to us that
we were losing each other in this maddening journey.
We were both emotionally exhausted and
Jill was bearing the physical toll of the repeated tests and procedures.

With no guarantee this was going to work,
we made the decision that if artificial insemination failed,
we would stop and get off this hellacious train. 

Push pause.

I woke up one morning and decided to read the Bible.
I just felt compelled to read.
I had tried to do everything myself.
I was at a loss of where to go or what to do.

I felt like my marriage was falling apart and
my life was in a state of suspended animation.
Having exhausted all my options,
I resorted to smashing the glass and pulling the God lever.
While I do not advocate just randomly
opening the Bible in search for some cosmic answer,
that’s exactly what I did that day.

I opened to the book of Isaiah, chapter 42 and this is what I read:

“But I’ll take the hand of those who don't know the way,
who can't see where they are going.
I’ll be a personal guide to them, directing them through
unknown country. I’ll be right there to show them what roads
to take, make sure they don't fall into the ditch.
These are the things I’ll be doing for them -
sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute.”
(verse 16 - MSG)
I wept uncontrollably.

I had been feeling so alone and isolated throughout this whole agonizing ordeal.
My helplessness was stemming from the realization that
I was NOT in control.
No matter how hard we tried or what measures we pursued,
WE could not obtain what we so desperately desired.

Later that week, we were at church.
I had one of those rare moments when I felt like God was speaking directly to me.
The message was that God has a plan for all of us.
While the end goal may be the same, the journey
through which God takes us to get there may be
drastically different than what WE had planned.

I immediately thought about Isaiah 42:16 and again I wept.

Even though, at times, it had seemed like we were all alone,
God had not abandoned us. He had a different plan for us.
I held firm to God’s promise that He would direct us and provide.

Fast forward.

This path led us towards adoption.
The adoption process is both frustrating and overwhelming.

several hours of mandated “parenting” classes.
seminars on building your “profile” for prospective birth-mothers.
submit statements regarding our views on raising children,
opinions discipline and our religious beliefs.
being finger printed at the state police barracks.
application for clearances.

Even down to make decisions about what
characteristics we were longing for in our child.
The whole process was painstaking and took several months.

Optimistic at first,but as time went on,
becoming more cynical and impatient.

There were days where I felt like the agencies were capitalizing on our fragile emotions

and our desperate longing to be a parent.
Sitting in meetings with other prospective parents,
I found myself “sizing up the competition.”

I was struggling with the underlying concept that we were

essentially “buying a child.”

We completed all the requirements and passed their tests of scrutiny.
We were one step closer to potentially becoming parents.
However, there was one colossal problem.
If we were chosen by a birth mother,
I had no idea where we were going to choke up the money.
I was beginning to second guess God’s plan and direction.

Yet, we submitted our profile, anyway.
 And so began the holding pattern of hoping
and waiting for someone to chose us to adopt their child.

A few weeks had passed and no calls.
Jill was invited to go out to dinner with a bunch of women she taught with.
She really didn't feel like socializing, but she went.

That night changed our lives forever.

Nathan.

During the course of that night’s conversation
she learned of a 17 year old girl who was pregnant.
She was looking to place her baby through private adoption to a Christian family.
So we submitted our profile to her family’s attorney and
eventually met Nathan’s birth mother and her parents.
We didn't know what to expect.
The meeting that evening went well and before we left,
Nathan’s birth mom asked us if we wanted to see the ultrasound.
We did, I immediately identified the baby as a boy.
A son, I thought - I could have a son.
 I looked at Jill and held back tears.
It struck me as odd that she would show us the ultrasound.
Knowing she was interviewing other prospective families,
why divulge that information to us.

The attorney called, later that evening, to inform Jill & I
 Nathan’s birth mom had already chosen us.
She had chosen us even before meeting us that evening.
Our conversations in that small meeting room had confirmed for her
that we were the right people to raise and parent her unborn child.
To our surprise, the attorney explained
the only costs we would be responsible for were her professional & court fees.
(a mere fraction of what the agencies were charging).

We hung up the phone and attempted to process
the whirlwind of emotions that were overwhelming both of us.
I don't think either of us slept very much that night.
What took place between our families and Nathan’s birth family
over the next three months is something that only God could arrange. 

Zoe.
 

Three years later, one of my nurses frantically burst into my office
to informed me that she found us a baby girl!

I was totally taken off guard.
Her father was working as a janitor at a local church.
He had been talking to the church secretary
who was currently caring for her niece's six month old baby.
Her niece had been having some health & relationship issues
and could no longer care for the child.
The secretary and her husband had agreed to care for the baby short-term,
The mom had recently made the decision
to place the baby with Catholic Charities for adoption.
Knowing my situation, she told her father to ask the secretary
if they would consider a private adoption.
Through another series of events that only God could orchestrate,
Zoe came into our lives and completed our family.

Nathan and Zoe’s adoption stories are SO much more detailed.

Initially, I feared I'd regret not having an awesome story to pass on to my kids.
I was wrong.
God’s story for my kids far surpassed any story I could've ever imagined.
My children have a truly epic account of God’s love.
His faithfulness. His provision.
They have a story of parents who struggled with their faith,
who wrestled with God, but persevered, even when the world seemed like it 

was imploding and all hope was lost.
They have tangible examples of how God loved them even before they were born.

I have now been a father for 12 years.
It’s an ongoing process of trial and error (lately more trials).
I’m really trying NOT to screw up my kids.
I’ve had countless failures and I certainly would fall short
of receiving the father of the year award.
There have been days where I’ve asked God
if he was sure I was the right choice for these kids.
Then I’m reminded of the journey He’s walked with me.
He’s been my guide and light along the paths that seem unfamiliar and dark.
He’s never left me and He continues to
accompany me on this excursion of life and parenting.

follow brian on twitter: @prophead23
& instragram: @foosa2322
wayfaringweasel.blogspot.com 

lindsay garner

lindsay garner

photographer.

college student.

sports lover.

adventurer.

artist.

I love stories.

I love sharing them and listening to them.

I’m most passionate about bringing hope to others

through sharing my past and the way that Jesus has changed my life.

Whether I’m doing that through my photography,

leading a small group of middle school girls at church,

or a coffee (actually, hot chocolate for me) date at Starbucks,

I want people to see the new life I have found 

& find hope that Jesus can do the same in their lives.

In 8th grade my life started on a downward spiral

that lasted until my freshmen year of college...

I was desperate to find love, value, and acceptance

but was looking in all the wrong places.

 boys. hook ups. parties.

What I thought would fill me up left me even emptier than before.

Each time I went searching and got let down,

I fell further into a spiral I couldn’t seem to break free from.

I was consumed with shame and guilt
every second of every day for the choices I was making.

Meanwhile, despite all the bad decisions and guilt,

I was excelling at one of the things I loved most: field hockey.

Every time I stepped on the field I felt at home and my problems disappeared.

I adored the game and couldn’t get enough if it.

I started playing in 8th grade all the way through 12th grade.

In 10th grade I started playing year around in hopes of reaching my biggest goal –

earning a field hockey scholarship to a Division One college.

It was clear by the summer between my junior and senior year

that my dream was going to become a reality.

I was receiving offers from schools wanting me to play for them,

and after some visits to those schools, I decided on Temple University.

I verbally committed to playing for Temple in July 2009 before my senior year.

In January 2010 during my senior year,
I officially signed the National Letter of Intent,
which is a legal document stating that I accept the scholarship offered
 & commit to playing for Temple University.

Fast-forward to the summer before going off to college..

It was the middle of July and I had to be at field hockey preseason on August 11th.

Still making destructive decisions, one of those ended up causing me to decide

it wasn’t best to go to Temple and play field hockey.

About 2.5 weeks before my dream was about to come true,

it crumbled before my eyes...

Everything I had ever wanted and worked for was gone.

It was one of the worst days, if not the worst day of my whole life.

Despite all the emotions I was feeling, I had to think quickly.

It was almost August and I needed a new college to go to...

I applied to PA College of Art and Design (PCAD) to major in Photography.

Throughout high school I was always taking pictures.

I took all the art classes my school had to offer, so art school sounded exciting to me. 

A few days after I applied I found out that they only accept 50% of applicants.

I lost all hope of getting in.

Only 25 days before classes were scheduled to start at PCAD,

I received a letter in the mail.

I was accepted.

My freshmen year of college looked a lot like my high school years.

But finally during my sophomore year of college,

God started to get a hold of my life.

I started going to church and I met people there who began investing in my life.

They taught me about Jesus; His love. His forgiveness. His grace.

Since my sophomore year of college, Jesus has radically transformed my life.

I am a totally different person than I was in high school.

All of the guilt that used to consume my life has been replaced with:

the understanding that I am a new creation in Christ.

He has forgiven me & calls me His beloved daughter.

God has taught me that following Him and living life the way He says

is so much better than one night of feeling good.

He has taught me that the freedom and satisfaction

I had been looking for all those years

only comes when I am obedient to Him.

The boys. the hooking up. the partying.

 all the bad decisions…

they are SO pale in comparison to following Jesus.

Although I wouldn’t ever want to repeat the things from my past,

I’m thankful they are a part of my story

because they have made me into the person I am today.

I constantly used to ask the question,

“how could all of the sin from my past ever be used for good?”

Jesus is currently in the process of answering that,

in bigger and more glorious ways than I could have ever imagined.

As the Lord has been redeeming my past,

one thing He has put on my heart is the desire to use my past to impact others.

I want to verbally share my story, but I don’t just want to only talk about it.

I also want to come up with creative ways to share.

One big way I do that is sharing through my photography and my art. 

I want to make pictures that reflect the grace and love of God

that’s transformed my heart.

A lot of times this includes making photos that use metaphors

& biblical references for inspiration.

I want to reach all people with my story.

My heart is inclined to share with women;

more specifically middle school/high school aged girls.

Girls who are the same age I was when I began making destructive decisions.

I want to communicate they don’t have to search any further than Jesus 

for the love, acceptance, & the value they so deeply long for.

I want to be a living example that Jesus saves, restores, and transforms;

that there is no place where we can go that will separate us from His love.

connect with Lindsay on

twitter: @LLGarner

her tumblr page

amanda hann

amanda hann

wife to the tall guy.

            soon-to-be-momma.​  

investor of the future generation.

crazy in love with my Lolapup.

  ​Everyone of us spends some, if not all, of our childhood years

dreaming about what we want to be when we grow up.

We share. We dream (hopefully big).

And all too often we let other people crush them, doubt us,

and create ways to make us wonder if we really can do “it.”

Then, we reach this time in our lives when we’re unstoppable.

We believe in who we are and who we want to become.

To this day, from those early days when I was a child dreaming of

what I wanted to be when I grew up, I knew what it would be.

Today, I found my “it.”
I am a teacher.

I believe I will be a teacher for life,
whether it’s behind the brick and mortar or not...

my mission in life is to teach.

To teach what?

That’s the part that makes me alive. Not knowing the plan He has for me,

I try to allow God to show me who sits in my audience.

I want to teach whomever my path crosses.

What I love most about teaching is the fact that while I teach,

I learn. I grow.

Just as much as the learner himself.

That’s the power in my purpose.  

​No one ever finds their "it" without someone or something influencing them.

When I think about influence,

I can’t help thinking of the people who have played such a role in my journey.

The circumstances, both positive and negative,

that have shaped me into the person I am full of the passion I’ve made my own.

Consider Mrs. Simpson...

She was my first grade teacher.

She's a huge influence in who I am as a person and the educator I've become.

Cliché, I know, everyone says their first grade teacher made a difference.

For me it's truth.

It was first grade visitation day...

My mom had recently been admitted to the hospital for a gall bladder surgery.

Knowing there was no chance of my mom taking me, my Grandpa stepped up & took me.

Nervous because first grade was monumental.

Even more nervous, and slightly embarrassed,

because my Grandpa was taking me when it should have been with my mom.

Everyone else had a parent with them except me.

But Mrs. Simpson celebrated my Grandpa being present with me

all the while assuring me it was extra special.

At that moment, I knew first grade would be okay.

She taught me valuable lessons.

She taught me how to make any child learn: love them first.

Every day I remind myself that any child can learn.

However, before learning happens, love does.

Influence is powerful.

My prayer each day is that I allow others to influence me in positive ways

And use the negative experiences as a catalyst for change.

Lucky for me, there have been people in my life who have modeled this for me and 

challenged me to bring my best

To influence others and circumstances in positive ways.

Whether in my personal life or professional life,

​I believe whole-heartedly God created me to love children.

Creating desires in my heart to have my very own children,

I have used the last ten years of my life to make a difference in the lives of other children.

No matter what my professional path looks like, at the core, will always be children first.

Whether working one-on-one in the classroom teaching kids to read,

or now working with their teachers to help them become more effective with their instruction;

my core focus is the health of the whole child.

​Year after year, I wondered what God’s plan for me would be.

He’d given me so much...

A steady job that allowed me to go to work each day. Loving what I did.

Influencing and impacting in ways I would have never dreamt imaginable.

He allowed me to cross paths with an amazing young man, Adam,

who has taught me so much about the person I want to be.

I had it all.
a job. a husband. a pup. a house. a car to drive.

Yet, I felt like life was missing something..

All I ever wanted to be was a mom.

And for some reason, God wasn’t letting that happen.
For years, my husband had cautiously waited for the right time.
When “our” right time was here, nothing happened. Months came and months went.
Frustrated by disappointment, I became bitter.
Like many women’s stories, I realized I wasn’t alone.
However, that didn’t make it feel any better.
I’d get annoyed when I wanted to celebrate the joys of others.
While in my heart I was happy for them, if I were really honest,
every time I heard someone’s news, a part of me would ache.
Selfishly ache. 

No matter how much I’d pray that desire to go away. It wouldn’t.
A cycle of praying it away, followed by hearing other’s news resulting in angry, bitter feelings.
I remember vividly the day I came home from work saying,
“Adam, If one more person tells me they’re having a baby…”
It was at that moment I realized I needed an attitude and a heart check.
It was then I decided not to pray away the desire, but to pray for patience.
Needless to say, the patiently waiting part was the hardest.
However, I needed to trust God’s timing and not worry about my own.

Today, excitedly I can share within less than five months,
not only will God fill the desire of my heart, He’ll put in my hands
the little boy He’s blessed us with.

Knowing I always wanted to be a mother, I believe His plan for me.
Though frustrated and annoyed along the way.
It prepared me to be the mother I am about to become.
Freaked out & feeling totally incompetent to the do the job that lies before me,
I have never been more excited to begin a journey.

This adventure is about to rock our world.
With ten years of experience caring for other people’s children
it's taught me so much about who He created me to be at my core...
a mother.

​As any mother would hope, it is her children she'll have the greatest impact on.
I hope the same for my little man as he enters the world.
My heart has been created for loving the little people we call our children.
Often times we forget that the little people we raise
will one day become the big people who will run the world.
I think we forget that the people that matter the most are the ones with
the innocent hearts and the big eyes looking up at us as role models.
Whether we realize it or not,
they’re constantly watching our every move,
hanging on every word,
striving to be just like the “big” people in their lives.

To me, that responsibility is greater than any other I could ever have.
This is what I was made for.

connect with Amanda here:
twitter: @countingon